Poem: First Time Right After

If you attended our Secrets launch you may have indulged our call for confessions and left a secret or two behind for us to peruse. Some secrets appeared on our Instagram before we passed them on to Curtis AuCoin, who turned them into a poem. Here's the result, accompanied by images from AuCoin's series "What's Personal, What's Secret."


First Time Right After

I smoke weed everyday. I pee in the shower. I sleep
with my man imagine him a girl. Wanting
my sister to miscarry because I can’t be an uncle.
Bridget Jones five times a year. Snapchat with a fake name.
I guess I’ll get over that mean, lovely, sweet, lying—
I love love the good people overall. They
found me on a dancefloor sizing-up the dicks.
Who doesn’t dislike their downstairs neighbour?
Come at me with penis smell and I’ll scrub
my toilet with your toothbrush. Fuck if I care
I’m the person who’s farted when you hear a fart.
I eat carrots with peanut butter and I still believe in love.
Those of my dreams are dying knowing I’ll get seriously ill.
Lip-synced with a lisp while pooping. Totally
shagged a guy. Wet the bed and went to work.
Gambling smiley lol I’m not actually cool.
Looked for art in an envelope I said
I mailed, I didn’t. Came to the show.
Got naked with a friend. The road at night my escort,
there for me lying in the middle. I’m trying not to worry.
My co-worker is tolerable. My pussy a stoner.
The planet is doomed. Without shoplifting
I can’t commit pre-emptive suicide.
I’m told I’m a misandrist.


Curtis AuCoin is a writer & artist with legally hazel eyes who currently lives on unceded Coast Salish territories.